Feb 18 2025 - I used to think it would be cool to be an expert on topic "x," and I would force myself to only care about topic "x." At first, I thought it was because I liked topic "x." Then I realized I wasn't even the biggest fan of topic "x," but since I had previously decided that my interest was topic "x," I felt I should just stick to it. I thought it would reflect poorly on me—both to myself and to others I had told—that I liked topic "x." So I would pursue a certain topic even if I didn't like it, couldn't understand it, or if it wasn't the highest reward for the time spent. For better or worse, I have changed my way of thinking. So what if I find out that topic "x" isn't my interest? I can just change it. Who even said I have to pursue topic "x" as a 21-year-old? No one is limiting what I can do and learn except myself. I want to be a generalist (for now). If one day I come across a topic I truly want to explore deeply and vertically, then "y" not? But for now, the possibilities are endless in this beautiful and vast era of technology. I want to learn as much as I can and be as functional as possible!
Jan 11 2025 - Since the start of 2025 (not really my new year's resolution), I want to stop trying. Not stop trying in the sense of giving up. I just want to stop taking things so seriously and doing what feels right. I want to worry less and stop planning and calculating so much. I want to stop optimizing so much. I just want to do what feels right and do what I enjoy. If I make a mistake, I want to easily forgive myself and just learn from the mistake. What is the point of caring too much. There is only so much that is up to us. Might as well enjoy what I do and not get too hung up on things. Anyways, I do believe things will be the way they should be eventually. I do believe in some "destiny".
Sep 22 2024 - My goal in the next few months is to learn to be in the present. Learn to be in the moment and make every opportunity count. A lot of times I don't appreciate the moment I am in and the opportunity that lies in front of me.